A call to action: Tell 1 person about your struggle

I cannot stress enough that whether or not to and how you tell your loved ones, friends, family, acquaintances, coworkers, strangers, about your hair loss is a completely individual choice.

Here’s a bit about where I’ve been, where I’m at now and where I’m going in this sense, as well as my call to action!

You’ve learned about me that I am a private person. I don’t like others to know when I’m struggling with something. I’ve also got a bit of “it’s nobody’s business” sass to me (this goes for more than just alopecia!). So while I’ve cracked open a bit with being vulnerable, I’m still of the mind that my personal medical information is NOBODY’s business unless and until I choose to share it. I don’t HAVE to tell anybody anything. The grocery store clerk or my coworker have no practical reason to know about my alopecia or why I conceal my hair loss in the ways that I do.

So why am I sharing so publicly about it now then? My target audience is HAIR LOSS SUFFERERS who are where I’ve been! There is solace in sharing a common bond with somebody who has had so many similar thoughts, feelings and experiences. My hair loss is not a deep dark secret anymore but I don’t broadcast it to everyone I know in my physical world. Maybe I will get to that point and I admire those who do. I think it is important for hair loss to be as normalized as someone needing to wear glasses and for others to be as comfortable talking about it as we are in our virtual community.

If you follow me on Instagram, you may have seen that a few days ago, I shared a bit about my journey with some friends and family members. Here’s how it went:

๐ŸŒผFriend A- said she knew I was always sensitive about my thinning hair but didn’t know that I had alopecia. She took a scroll through my blog and now is following along on my Instagram page (HI BABE!).
๐ŸŒผFriend B- a total cheerleader for me doing the blogging biz. She was nothing but supportive and was happy to give my stuff a read.
๐ŸŒผFriend C- disclosed experiencing her own hair loss after having her baby and was relieved that she was not the only one.
๐ŸŒผMy beautiful sister-in-laws said they had NO IDEA that I was ever experiencing hair loss because of my hair magic ๐Ÿ™‚
๐ŸŒผMy brother- totally unexpectedly cool about the whole thing. I don’t handle awkwardness that well but he totally breezed through the whole conversation about it without making me feel awkward at all.
๐ŸŒผMy Mama Jo- she’s been there through it all. Came to the dermatologist with me all those years ago… I told her when I got my first hair piece. But she didn’t know I was sharing publicly. She even wants to guest blog on here about her own hair! Are you guys down for that?

I may not have told many people but this felt light a HUGE step for me and I feel a little lighter. Maybe the day will come where I respond to a compliment about my hair with a “it’s a wig” if I feel like it. I’m unpredictable like that so we will see if the mood strikes.

How will I get there? Slowly but surely, with support, patience and self-love. The more people I open up to, the less ashamed I feel. The more we talk about it collectively, the less alone someone may feel if they are where I was all those years ago first facing my diagnosis.

This is my call to action…. Whether you are experiencing body image issues or insecurities about your hair, your weight, your nose, infertility, feelings of inadequacy, a personality trait, WHATEVER it is… I challenge you to tell ONE person you trust about it. Once we are aware of our own insecurities, we can hide them, or we can face them head on. Telling one person we trust is a good, non-threatening way to reach out for that support we need and to have at least that one person on our team.

Don’t worry if your person doesn’t know how to react. Send them to my previous blog about supporting someone with hair loss. TELL THEM WHAT YOU NEED FROM THEM! Do you need them to commiserate with you? Do you need them to listen? Do you need them to snap you out of your funk? We cannot expect that the people in our lives are mind readers so it is on us to be clear about our needs. It is a good idea to be clear about the type of support you need before you go to your trusted person. If you’re not sure, think about the following:
-What is it about my insecurity that is bothering me the most?
-Am I concerned about the way other people are looking at me?
-Do I need to feel loved and accepted?
-Do I need validation?
-Do I need to hear that the way I’m feeling is normal?
-Do I need to know I’m not alone?
-Do I need to vent?
-Do I need a shoulder to cry on?
-Do I need someone to hold my hand while I’m working through this?
-Do I need a push to get back to doing the things that make me ME?

Your friend can’t solve these issues for you but reaching out makes you more accountable to start working on these issues Your support person canโ€™t do the healing for you but they can be there for you while you do it. Maybe they can help you process some of this or they can steer you toward a professional to help you work out the rest. Or maybe telling that one person is just a cathartic release that ignites your healing.

Who knows about your hair loss? How did they react? Who has supported you?

While my hair loss started before I met my husband, he was the first person I told about buying my first bottle of hair fibres, and then, years later, about buying my first hair piece.
While my hair loss started before I met my husband, he was the first person I told about buying my first bottle of hair fibres, and then my first hair piece. Side note: PROTECT YOUR SCALP!

Published by Elle Anne

Elle is for Laura. That's me! Thank you for following along with my hair loss journey!

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